brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I am one with the molecules
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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