i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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