He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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