Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
