if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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