so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
