I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I am available for nakedness
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
