Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you win again, gameday.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
