the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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