the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This is the high leading the old right now
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
