I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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