that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
