weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize