Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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