Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
