What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
