we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize