In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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