"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
