so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
