I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
