then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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