Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
