But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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