also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize