Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
