omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
