So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
