he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
