I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
