Im at strip club and am horny
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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