Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
