I'm eating all of the evidence.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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