Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
