My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
