you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
