No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize