I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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