YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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