I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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