dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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