We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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