What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
