Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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