Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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