How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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