in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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