he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
