Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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