They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
