True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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