and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.