FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process