you suck at this game today
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.