Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!

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  (313): marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte! http://tfl.nu/25lr
  Replies (1) Good night (3887) Bad night (1629)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you

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  (678): Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you http://tfl.nu/rkl4
  Replies (5) Good night (762) Bad night (3074)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.

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  (480): I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral. http://tfl.nu/j7go
  Replies (20) Good night (3880) Bad night (981)
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  (845): View more from New York

  im poppin the ladies like they're bacne

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  (845): im poppin the ladies like they're bacne http://tfl.nu/xag8
  Replies (24) Good night (878) Bad night (4084)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  false alarm. still invincible.

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  (305): false alarm. still invincible. http://tfl.nu/rmc6
  Replies (35) Good night (8501) Bad night (839)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems

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  (609): i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems http://tfl.nu/8tgm
  Replies (31) Good night (1732) Bad night (5041)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.

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  (337): Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night. http://tfl.nu/5kyl
  Replies (36) Good night (6875) Bad night (2538)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.

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  (678): I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong. http://tfl.nu/c8ur
  Replies (9) Good night (2930) Bad night (775)
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  (916): View more from California

  I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up

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  (916): I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up http://tfl.nu/ccq8
  Replies (5) Good night (2803) Bad night (1051)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.

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  (651): You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work. http://tfl.nu/ixce
  Replies (4) Good night (1723) Bad night (697)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.

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  (651): The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/4fee
  Replies (24) Good night (1206) Bad night (676)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.

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  (616): Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing. http://tfl.nu/c8zk
  Replies (4) Good night (504) Bad night (676)
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  (516): View more from New York

  She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.

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  (516): She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY. http://tfl.nu/h5mr
  Replies (1) Good night (890) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.

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  (316): If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple. http://tfl.nu/506q
  Replies (0) Good night (629) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM

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  (403): I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM (403): BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM http://tfl.nu/wdql
  Replies (3) Good night (630) Bad night (335)

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