At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
