Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
