it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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