I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize