Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
