i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize