I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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