oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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