Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
