After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
