Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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