Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize