everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
