I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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