Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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